All at sea

Well this is a fuckin bitch. I thought that I was doing so much better while I was in Texas, and then BAM. As soon as I get my lil happy-pappy ass back home, I slip back into my same old cycle. Which is why I'm posting now, @ 2 somethin in the morning.
Maybe it's a sign of how much this area sucks, and you have to be born and raised here to love it. In Texas there was Big Red, cheap frozen White Castles, and fine boys. What else could you ask for??? Maybe I should move out there after all.
Then my grandfather is retiring, and not only did I not go, I also didn't write something to be read at the thingymashit. Why? Well quite frankly, I didn't have anything to say. I don't think it matters to him if I'm there or not, so why waste money when you ain't got none?

I'm basically just feeling listless and lost again. I wish there was something for me to focus on. Instead I waste my time watching TV, or sitting online waiting for someone to i/m me, because people barely call anymore. Not to sound bitchy, because I do understand. I mean, the rest of the world has lives, goals, dreams. Then there's me...sitting at home. Alone.
There's almost no point in keeping this blog up....because no one reads it or cares what is going on with me.