a lil honesty

okay, i'm gonna be a lil more honest and open than i really like to so maybe some of you can undertsand what i'm going thru/feeling.

Depression is not something that you can just "get over" or "pray about" if it has lasted for longer than 2wks. When you've been suffering with it for a loooong time, then it's a matter of making a lifestyle change, from being negative to positive. It's not easy, and it's probably going to take more time than I'd like. But you know what I realized 2day??

That it's okay that it takes time. I don't wanna to a shabby job of fixing myself only to be broken. I know most people don't understand what a struggle it is for me to do little things, especially since I tried to remove myself from society this summer. Now comes the tough task of easing myself in. I won't let myself cop out and run away anymore. I'm not doing this for my friends or my family. The only person who can truly help me is ME.

So when I may seem upbeat, happy, and strong, I wan't y'all to realize that it's a lot easier to be stronger for other people that it is to be for yourself. And remember, I know my mind better than anyone...I'm so analytical I won't be able to do anything stupid.